Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?

deviantART

 
:iconjakenova:

=JakeNova

100% Reason to Remember the Name
ProfileGalleryPrintsFavesJournal

:iconjakenova:
Alright, before I start this, I'll explain how I go about critiquing things. A lot of people tend to express all the problems and flaws in a piece and nothing else, but I prefer a "Good News/Bad News" policy. I'll let you know what you did right, and I'll tell you what I think you can improve on. Sound good? ^_^ Here we go

Good News:
Much like you, I'm sure the rest of us have missed Fumiko as well. It's been a while since you've drawn her, and I'm glad to say that it's nothing but refreshing to see her again ^^ I can also see that you've been practicing your personal style and that the improvement is obvious in this picture :D
Your combination of realism and manga style is very original and will definitely set you apart as a manga-ka. As with many of the characters in your series, Fumiko is a strikingly unique character but with just enough normalcy to keep her real. Her expression in this image shows a classic Fumiko smile, and her clothes show the also classic originality of Fumiko's style.
As always, your anatomy is spot-on and the proportions are accurate. I also see you added a hint of color to this piece. This method of spot-coloring is well illustrated by picking out the objects she's wearing that match the color of her eyes. Nice touch ^^ And finally, as usual, your inking style is very clean but with a certain roughness to it that makes it your own. It's hard to explain, but good XD

Bad News:
As someone else said before, Fumiko apparently looks fat. Or at least, chubbier than usual. Don't worry, she really doesn't. I think the problem that caused this assumption is three things. First, the shirt she's wearing over her T-shirt, while stylish, is very baggy. She also has her hands in the pockets of the front of it. There is no problem with this itself, but because it's so loose, and because her hands are in there, no matter how skinny you make the rest of her, this is going to cause extra bulges in her stomach area that aren't her stomach. So, as a result, any girl wearing that kind of shirt is going to look a little bulkier. It's just the style of the shirt.
Second, the way she's smiling, I think because of the dimples, make her cheeks look a bit pudgy. It would probably help if the image was big enough to have a full view size, so people could get a closer look at her.
Third, and this isn't even a real problem, but she might be looking a little on the chubby side because her thighs are a little thick. But! Don't worry. I'm sure you know as well as I do that girls naturally have more meat on their waist and thighs. So, while anatomically correct, and very nicely realistic, her thighs don't conform with some viewers ideals of manga art. I wouldn't worry about this, as I know you're going for a realistic style.


Other than those, and even those are probably nothing, I see nothing else wrong with this wonderful drawing of Fumiko ^^ It's great to have you back, man, and I hope your arm's feeling better :D I'm sure I'm not alone when I say that I'm pretty darn excited to see the Takoru comic start ^_^

Hope that critique helped. Have to say, it's rather hard to critique your work, since it's so good XD But I tried since you requested it ^^ Enjoy
The Artist thought this was FAIR
52 out of 54 deviants thought this was fair.

Comments


Devious Comments

:icontakoruone:
Thank you so much for the critique. i really didnt want her to look fat lol.
I'll start soon, i already did some pages :D

--
[link] :D
:iconjakenova:
You're welcome ^_^ I wouldn't worry too much about her looking fat. It was mostly just a fluke cuz of a combination of different things.

Haha, that's funny XD I'm starting my comic soon as well, and I too have already done some pages lol


Oh, I sent you a note a while ago. Did you get it? It was about a possible art trade between me and you. Would you be interested in something like that? :D

--
Official NaruHina Artist
~Follow Me on Twitter
Clubs:
~NarutoxHinata-Club

Site Map